From Shelter to Success
It was a Tuesday night; I remember it so vividly. I got a call that changed my life forever. My parents had been in a car accident, they were both gone. I didn’t even have a chance to grieve the death of my parents, I had to act. The reality sunk in quite quickly that we were going to be evicted from their house. They were our saving grace letting us stay with them. I had no choice but to immediately begin to search for another option. I combed through every ad I could find in our price range, which didn’t leave many options. We went after school one day to look at a house that looked fitting, it seemed like it might be exactly what would save us. We met the landlord who was nice, but there was something about him that made me uncomfortable, I couldn’t put my finger in it, just a gut feeling. I brushed it off as this place was the only location we could afford near my children’s school. I figured we wouldn’t have to see the landlord often, so I could handle it. Against my better judgement, I signed the lease.
We really had no other option.
Daily life was so much harder now, I'd been lucky enough to have a lot of support from my parents before we lost them, taking the kids to school or preparing dinner and helping with homework. I struggled with depression, my sadness eventually turned into frustration. This is when I started to drink. It started with drinking in my room after the kids went to bed, I’d fall asleep crying most nights. Eventually it escalated. I was angry, I was drunk, but really, I was just tired. Tired of fighting, tired of living pay cheque to pay cheque and putting on a smile. I opened up to my landlord one day when he came to collect rent, I had already been drinking that day so my inhibitions were low, he looked at me and offered me a deal. Until now I had no idea, but he had been dealing drugs from this apartment building. He said if I helped, he would cut me a deal on rent. I initially said no, then debated in my head for a week. I was so tired of struggling, I could really use that money. I gave in and agreed. What followed was a year of unwanted visits to my home, countless police encounters, and it skyrocketed my drinking to an all-time high. I was a mess. I knew I had to leave this place, but I felt stuck. I had heard about an emergency shelter close by, so one morning I mustered up the courage to call. I spoke with a social worker, and it was a process. She was able to secure us a spot on the transitional housing waitlist. It took a bit, but as soon as we got our place, it changed everything for us. This changed everything for us. We escaped our terrifying reality and were welcomed with open arms by the YW.
During one of our visits, my YW social worker recommended that I attend the Niagara Leadership Summit for Women. I had never heard of it before. She told me that attendees of the event could choose to sponsor someone like me. I thought that was really beautiful. This was very much outside of my comfort zone, but I decided to go for it.
That event set me on a path I never saw coming. I attended a workshop about finding my passion and purpose in life. This allowed me the time to sit in a safe space and stop the internal battle I’ve been fighting every day. I thought about who I was before this terrible period of my life and what I really wanted my life to look like. While I listened to the presentation, it felt like a weight was lifted off my chest, I was holding back tears. I spoke in the workshop and had other women nodding and acknowledging my journey.
I hadn’t felt that sort of empowerment in a long time.
I left that day feeling a newfound sense of motivation. I went back to my social worker that night and she helped me to start a plan. We sat over the next week and applied to multiple criminology programs. I’d always wanted to make a difference in this world, and after the last year this just felt right. I am so happy to announce that I am now on a path to receive my bachelor’s degree in criminology!
As a family we’ve transitioned out of the on-site living and now have our very own apartment. It’s perfect for us. I can’t explain how it feels knowing I have the support of the YW lending a helping hand during a time where I didn’t feel like I had anything left. Through hard work and the support of the YW, I’ve been able to find my passion, and it’s truly saved my life. This has changed my life. It’s changed the lives of my children. I’m forever grateful.